Asses

I've never seen so many asses together in one place. 

My recent beach experience may be limited to New Hampshire, so it’s likely I’m not up on the latest racy bathing suit fashions but the standard bikini (and in general female bathing suit) here in this relatively remote family oriented beach in Argentina, is nothing like what you’d see in New Hampshire. Asses Asses Asses. I attempted to go speed bathing suit shopping in Buenos Aires (as in 20 minutes before the stores closed) before leaving for the beach but gave up, happier with the bikini I already owned and had with me, bought from a JCrew outlet maybe seven years ago. Maybe more. Granted I didn’t try many on this time around.  If I’d fallen in love with how one looked, I would have bought it, but twenty minutes before closing time was not long enough for me to wrap my mind around wearing an almost thong on a family vacation. Now that I’m here at the beach I see this trendy minuscule bottom is everywhere. Even kids wear them. 

I’m not particularly conservative in my dress. However, I’d probably rather go topless down a beach then in an assless bathing suit, though I admire the women brave enough to walk around with a little more than a string in their butt. They’re hardly perfect, in Sports Illustrated standards. Lots of cellulite. Lots of young mothers. Good for them for marching their asses down the beach feeling all sexy. Or just feeling normal. No biggie. Here's my ass. 

My biggest critique was the idea of sitting in the sand in those suits. Who wants sand in their ass crack? Then a yogi lady about my age started doing yoga in the best bathing suit I’d seen that day.  It was again in the almost thong style but glamorous and bohemian chic at the same time. The kind I thought was totally impractical and affected comfortable mobility. She proved me wrong. She sat directly in the sand and progressed to do a yoga and meditation practice. Go her. Who knows? Maybe if I stayed here long enough I’d be prancing around in assless bathing suits too. But I doubt it. Especially if I keep hanging out with my grandmother.