Or how about the New Hampshire Primary Robo-calls?
The first thing I hear when I pick up the phone, "Do you own a gun?"
Who needs small talk. "Hello, and thank you for your time. I'm calling from --- insert think tank/ campaign name here--- if you have a few minutes I'd like to ask you a few questions to better serve our community."
Nope. None of that.
"Do you own a gun?"
Robo-calls aside, a truly confused caller can leave behind stories worth remembering for years to come.
College dorm, Maine, 2003.
My roommate and I experimented with our voicemail. Back then we still used landlines. Cell phone plans were more expensive. Facebook was a printed book handed out to first-years and was coveted by senior guys (or at least that's what I was told). We left a recording of us laughing. That's it. No "Hi, please leave us a message." We thought it would be funny. I guess in the end it was...
Some poor old lady got really confused. She called our dorm-room landline, heard the laughter and was convinced it was her daughter ignoring her. She left a really long message.
"I hear you Darlene. I know that's you. Why won't you answer me? You're a cruel woman, Darlene, treading your mother like this. I'm going to get back at you. You just wait. You'll see. You'll get what you deserve. What's so funny? WHAT is so funny? You should be ashamed at yourself. ASHAMED."
This went on for a good seven minutes.
Poor, Darlene. I wonder if her mom ever did get back at her. Poor ladies. We would have tried to call the and explain but we had no idea where the call came from...
High School, 2000.
I had a full five minute conversation with a guy I thought was my high school boyfriend. I'd called and left a message on his voicemail about meeting up that day. He called back. I was riding in a car full of friends.
Me: Hi
Guy: Hey, how's it going?
Me: Pretty good. You?
Guy: Yah, me too.
Me: So do you want to meet up tonight?
Guy: Sure. What d'you have in mind?
Me: We were thinking of going to a movie or something. Or maybe the beach. Wanna join?
Guy: Yah sure.
Me: When works for you? What are you up to now?
Guy: Just leaving the football field.
Me: What? The football field?
Guy: Yah, just got out of practice.
Me: What? You play football? Wait, who is this?
Guy: I got a voicemail from your number and called back.
Me: Wait never mind. I must have called the wrong number. I don't know you. I thought you were my boyfriend. Sorry about that.
Guy: Are you sure?
Me: Yah, you were going to meet up with someone random? It was a mistake, sorry.
Guy: Okay, yah, don't worry about it. Have a good night.
I hang up.
Other Friends in the Car: What the Hell was that? Who was that?
Me: A wrong number? I just totally had a five minute conversation and almost met up with some guy I've never met before.
Friends: You didn't notice?
Me: He sounded the same age as me, and his number was almost the same as my bf's.
Friends: You should have met up with him anyway.
Me: Yah....
I wonder who he was.
Parents' house. High School.
"Hi, is Donna there?"
"No, there's no Donna here. Wrong number."
This happened a few times a week. If I answered the phone, he thought I was one of Donna's friends and that I was lying. We didn't have caller ID yet. I stopped answering the phone for a while. It was annoying. Who was that guy? And who was Donna?
Buenos Aires. [Conversation happened in Spanish]
Guy: Hola
Me: Hola
Guy: That's all you're going to say to me?
Me: Who's speaking?
Guy: I know it's been a while since I've called but I thought you'd treat me better than that..
Me: I think you've got the wrong number. Who are you trying to talk to?
Guy: You know who I am. You must recognize my voice.
Me: I think you've got me mixed up with someone else.
Guy: You're hurting me. You're really going act like you don't remember me? You must still be mad.
Me: You've got the wrong number. You won't tell me who you want to talk to, so I'm going to hang up. Happy holidays.
Click.
Sometimes when silly things happen they're annoying. Often times. But I'm grateful for some of the quirky experiences. A good excuse to chuckle years down the road. I wonder who those people were. Well, some of them. No desire to meet up with the guy from the last conversation. Creep.
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